put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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