was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
