Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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