how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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