Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
