Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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