Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
