i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm just crazy horny about you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
