I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
