ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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