This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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