Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
