Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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