I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
