I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We need to rekindle our bromance
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
