I'm eating all of the evidence.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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