This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
