and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
