oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
do nipples grow back?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
