Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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