There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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