I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
