I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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