I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
