fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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