We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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