my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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