Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
two words...techno handjob
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
