Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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