OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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