I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
