Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
