Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
