She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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