I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
