Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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