the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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