You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
