Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
