There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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