It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
