I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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