i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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