Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
