The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
