Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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