I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
