Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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