Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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