Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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